I Was A Street Walking Faith Healer

I had lots of prophetic words spoken over me about my spiritual gift in healing. Sometimes I would feel a burning sensation on my hand and I took it as a sign that somebody needed a healing prayer. I’d pray and ask God who it may be.  I loved praying for people.  It was always exciting to see God’s healing power used in my hands.  I was on the prayer team at the church I attended, so I got to pray for and see lots of people healed.  It was magical.

My father oversaw a skatepark that one of the churches youth pastor started.  The skatepark was opened two nights out of the week in the church parking lot. About 200 skaters on average would show up each night.  This was a great place to see God’s healing power as there were lots of kids with injuries needing prayer.  There were countless times I’d pray for a kid who claimed to have a fractured finger or sprained ankle and were healed within minutes after putting my hand on the injured limb and call down the power of God.

Being one who use to heal people with the power of God, how can I turn around after seeing the miraculous and become an atheist?  There were a few circumstances I put myself through that made me question everything I have done and seen.

I use to love spending afternoons on the weekend driving around my hometown asking God for direction to find someone specific on the streets who may need a divine encounter.  One Saturday afternoon I was with a friend who also loved jumping out of the boat to pray for people.  We spent about 30 mins in the morning praying for direction. I thought I felt God direct us to a small town outside our hometown, so we got in my truck and drove about 35 mins to this town.  We parked in the downtown area and started walking and asking God who it was we needed to pray for.

We saw a woman in a wheelchair crossing a street.  I knew for sure it must be her.  We ran after her, calling to her.  She stopped, confused why we were chasing her.  I explained what we were doing and asked if we could pray for her.  She said it would be ok.  My friend started the prayer, thanking God for the moment and thanking God for His love for her. I told her I believed God could heal her and she wouldn’t need her wheelchair any longer.  I’ve seen lots of fractured fingers healed and sprained ankles healed by my own hands and have heard a million second hand stories of tumors falling off of people after prayer and paraplegics walking out of wheelchairs at churches, so I believed this would be a great opportunity to see God heal somebody in a wheelchair on the streets, change a life, plus have a great testimony. I asked her if she believed God could heal her and she hesitantly said “yes”.  I knew she was nervous but I was too enthusiastic and I believed it was what Jesus would have done.  So on that hot Saturday afternoon on the middle of a sidewalk in a small California town, I prayed for her and commanded all of her body to be healed in the name of Jesus, on Earth as it is in Heaven.  I really felt she was being healed and it was now her turn to step out of the comfort zone and walk.  I asked her if she was ready to walk and she declined. I could see in her face I made her very uncomfortable and I felt awful about it, but I tried to tell myself it was what Jesus would have done and God was proud I jumped out of the boat to do His work, even if nothing happened.  But I still wondered why God didn’t heal her right there and right then.  We watched her wheel herself down the street away from us as we hoped she would be healed one day.

Another weird situation during my faith healing years, it was just after midnight when a friend of mine called saying he was heading to the hospital across the street from my apartment to pray for an elderly man in a coma. Excited by the chance to maybe see a Lazarus healing from God with my own hands I walked across the street and met up with my friend in front of the hospital. We walked into the emergency room, into the ICU and found his room and snuck in. The old man was in his 80s. He was alone, hooked up to tubes, a breathing machine and whatever else can keep an unconscious person alive. We stood over his bed and began praying in his dark hospital room. 

We prayed and prayed, I wasn’t totally expecting him to wake up from his coma and get out of his bed.  I thought it would be great if he did and I believed it could happen, but it wasn’t expected. We were in his room for about 30 mins praying over his poor old and almost lifeless body and prophesying how great it would be that his family would spend more years with this old man. We felt God say it wasn’t his time to die and even well into his 80s he still had years left in him. We didn’t see him wake up that night.

A few days later I saw my friend and ask him about the old man.  He told me he the next day he the old man had woken up and argued with the nurses.  I was stoked!  I couldn’t believe our prayers worked. Even if he didn’t wake up in front of us that night, it was still unbelievable that he actually woke up from his coma the next day and was aware enough to argue with the nurses.  I went to my home group that night and gave the testimony.

Later that week I found out the old man actually never woke up from the coma and ended up dying a couple days after we prayed for him.  I felt like I was lied to and felt crushed by it.  The testimony I gave to the home group happened to be recorded and played for the church congregation later that same week.  People cheered and told me how awesome it was that our prayers were answered and felt encouraged to pray for their loved ones.  I felt awful and was too embarrassed and overwealmed by their excitement to tell all of them I was lied to. This got me questioning everything. Every testimony I heard from then on was now under my microscope.

I started reading up on the placebo effect, the power of suggestion and other weird psychological happenings that helped explain away all the healings I did in at the skatepark and on the streets.  The fractures were probably never there, the sprained ankles were probably not as bad as it seemed and just went away with a little dopamine and endorphine power.  Some people even told me later that after I prayed they still felt pain, but they just didn’t want to hurt my feelings or they only told me they were healed so I would stop praying for them.

Every big miracle testimony I questioned I found to be exaggerated or lies.  I heard second hand testimonies that got bigger and more extraordinary as the story was passed on.

I never saw anyone with real miraculous healings.  The old man at my church who was severely crippled by a car accident when he was younger didn’t have one inch of healing even after all the prayer he went up for at church.  None of the major prayer warriors could heal him.  None of the major prophets who visited the church that told him he would be healed completely could never do it.  I watched this old man crying for healing numerous times.  It only broke my heart.  And those I prayed for who had terminal cancer never lived to tell of a healing.  I can’t believe in the miraculous healing of God after that.

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13 thoughts on “I Was A Street Walking Faith Healer

  1. Thanks for sharing this….I was never this committed to healing prayer, but I did totally buy into it and believed I had seen healing and even driven demons from a roommate.

    Never underestimate the placebo effect.

    For me, seeing a family member commit suicide after I had spent weeks praying for his mental well-being shook me. Also the fact that nobody with a permanent disability ever seemed to be healed.

    I’m wondering-did you approach your church when you learned that your testimony was false? Did they retract, or was it left to stand?

    Just curious….

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    • I was too embarrassed after finding out the testimony was false to tell anyone at the time. I started to tell people later about it in the very beginning stages of my deconversion. Even let one of the pastors know, but I’m not sure if anything came of it. I stopped going to church regularly shortly after this.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Friend, I just want you to know that your honesty is greatly appreciated. I was about to get involved in a street healing ministry, but something just didn’t feel right. I think the people were sincere but seemed to be more concerned about “signs” like healing than they were the salvation of these people. And like you said the only “healings” they would testify of were mostly pain in the body but no visible healing that was evident to anyone else. When Jesus and his disciples healed people, everyone around saw it and even the enemies of Christ admitted that the healings were real but they said it was by the devil. Unfortunately it seems a religion is taking yet another fad to prove Gods existence, when Jesus said it is by a work of “faith” not by sight. God is real and His son Jesus is the savior and that’s just how it is! We walk by faith and not by sight!
        Matthew 16:4
        A wicked and adulterous generation seeketh after a sign; and there shall no sign be given unto it, but the sign of the prophet Jonas.

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  2. If faith healing worked, hospitals would be churches and we would have no need of medical science. Too bad people sometimes die turning down medical aid in favor of supernatural faith healing. Even sadder when those deaths are children because parents were fooled into believing nonsense.

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  3. I have worked with hands-on healing which has seen good results in some people – I helped my friend who had breast cancer to recover feeling in her fingers when she was having chemotherapy. BUT it’s always been my belief that you are not the healer, you are simply a conduit for healing energy which works out in its own way. You don’t know what a life is meant to be, but I do think that it’s a great consolation for people to know what friends and strangers care enough about them to pray for them. However, I get cheesed off with people who pray for others from ego, not really because they truly care for the people but because they see themselves as the Big Cheese who is dishing out the goodies whether people want it or not.

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  4. Anyone reading this would be impressed by your honesty. It takes great intellectual rigor to search for the truth. With such faith in God’s ability to heal through you (and such sincerity on your part, in approaching the healings), it must have been heartbreaking for you when it appeared God had “failed”. Only you can decide whether or not to believe after that.

    I was, for many years, an atheist myself. My faith was shaken in a different way. I’m an incest survivor. So for me the issue was innocent suffering. I’ll probably wrestle with that the rest of my life.

    I’d just like to say this. Your church does not seem to have instructed you adequately. I don’t mean to suggest that you were not healing “properly”. I mean that sometimes God’s answer is “no” — no matter how sincere or enthusiastic we are. We simply do not always know God’s reasons. He has a greater perspective than we do. Our walk of faith challenges us to trust Him in those situations, just as it challenges us to forgive the unforgivable.

    God may be using that woman in the wheelchair in amazing ways. Or He may be working quietly on her heart. Physical healing is not everything. I did not write my first book until after my health failed. I was simply moving too fast beforehand. As for the old man, evidently it was his time. Personally, I have never seen a physical healing. What I have seen that I consider amazing in this sad and broken world are hearts lifted and lives transformed by the Gospel.

    If I were you, I would not give up on that. Just my two cents. And thank you for the follow. I hope I can be of some service.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Anna,
      Your response has really blessed me and my wife because it is the truth and not some hyped up response just to draw attention to the person but to God. I totally believe in God’s healing thru Jesus but I know that God is sovereign and has a plan for all He does. Like you said, I’ve seen the gospel heal more people than anything else. We live in a fallen world and I know God is more concerned about our live and relationship with Him than just a physical healing.

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  5. I still had my faith and I would give myself over to God just to heal me. I didn’t want to be this victim that is caught in a body and could do nothing about it. I wanted to be an active mom with my children. Even though I was physically able to walk I could not run. All I wanted out of life is to be normal again. Be the person I used to be with faith and the zest for life. I was young and slowly killing myself in a place I did not want to be. I did not belong there. I was young and my life felt that it was stuck in this small space being held down
    There was an event that came up where there were ‘healers’ present and I thought that I might as well go. Clyde took care of Jade and I left for the hall. It was the worst experience I had encountered in my life and changed my views completely. The man on the podium presented himself as a man of God whom anyone might approach for deliverance, salvation and miracles.
    He was known by the name of Nemha. He preached that doctors hand cannot but the Holy Spirit worked through him, his prayers recovered failed eyesight and risen from their wheelchairs.
    My demon was described by the Prophet as the vicar of the devil on earth. Part of the message he preached was that ‘demons get their strength by the faith we have in them to do us harm’ and ‘Jesus did promise that true believers would cast out devils.’ So my faith would get rid of the demon in me that was busy destroying my body? Was my faith strong enough? I did believe in God and I said my prayers and that would be enough to receive healing?
    Even sceptics agreed that faith and prayer can improve one’s mental state, which can in turn promote physical health. When I prayed for healing and don’t see or feel any immediate results, should I pray again, pray a different way, or just pretend that everything is okay, that God heard my prayer and will answer someday in His time? Are faith healers deluding themselves or shamelessly deluding others?
    These were all the questions flooding my brain before I show my vulnerability in front of a lot of people.
    I had seen these things on TV and had heard much debate about whether someone should fall forward or backwards the Holy Spirit touched them, in a ‘slaying of the spirit.’
    So I needed to fall and get hurt to get rid of my demon? Then the speech changed into a festive, almost joyous atmosphere and filled the compound as churchgoers sang, clapped and danced.
    One of the evil spirits were cast out and those set free by the Prophet writhed in the dirt while vomiting out the demons. One of these rituals what I saw was a strong demonic presence over this man. His head was contorting and looked to me like it would almost twist, as well as his jaw, face and hands contorting, It seemed every muscle was at an extreme strain in his body. He was jerking and twitching severely. Nemha wasted no time responding. He rushed over to this man, put his hand on his chest and forehead. Nemha started binding demonic powers and commanding his body to be loosed in Jesus’ name. I didn’t believe what I was seeing. Was it real or not? Weeks later confirmed that this man had suffered an epileptic seizure which often can display similar signs of someone going into a coma and then when the epileptic seizure passes he would be “healed”
    He prayed for every person in the line and declared them all healed. He claimed that he could also transfer power to an ordinary person and that the person would be able to perform healing. During healing hours, he would touch any person in the congregation and tell that person to come forward and be healed. I sat at the back, out of sight and did not even think of standing in line to be healed. Ironically, I wanted this to be real. I was hoping it would work for me.
    I asked God, whilst I was sitting there, to please remove this demon from my body so that I could become normal again. I used to think that it was all bullshit, but here I was, sitting with a small bit of faith, clutching and holding on to hope. I am a fairly intelligent and alert person and I kept my eyes, and ears open to everything that was going on. I am not somebody that can have the wool pulled over my eyes easily. There was a section of the room that was set aside for people in wheelchairs. He started the healing part of his ministry; his people would try to encourage other people to stand up from their wheelchairs and so on. I noticed that his people were going around trying to get people to stand up and walk; mostly I saw that the people would try but then sit right back down in disappointment and I saw a few even starting to cry.
    He would then announce their failure and blame the people for a ‘lack of faith’ when it became clear that the healing would not work. A woman walked up to the ‘prophet’ and claimed to be healed. It appeared as if it was staged. The healing could be legit but it seemed very suspicious. He then began waving his magic finger at people and they were falling down, supposedly slain in the spirit. I thought it was a joke and got up to leave.
    As I have mentioned before, it is extremely noticeable when I get up and somehow one of his helpers saw me and guided me to the prophet. I was clearly walking with a limp. I do not know why I had so small (and I mean minute) faith to be healed. He sat me down, touched my head, and pushed it backward. I thought: “What the …? F…k off, do not touch my face. “He was shouting over the microphone that he saw me healing and announced that my leg had started growing longer. “What the hell are you talking about?” I asked him.
    He ignored my question and again touched my head and said: “You are now healed.” Then this person came with a plate so that I could reward the Prophet for his connection with god. I looked at this person, got up and shouted: “You are a fu…ing fake. You are not a healer; my one leg is not shorter than the other.” He turned his back on me and started ‘healing’ other people. I smacked the plate out of the man’s hand and stormed out. Good people to go down in financial flames for trusting those conjobs and thieves.
    That day my faith in god disappeared. There is no god. I had been taken for a fool, believing in a god. He does not exist and people should open their eyes. The song with the words: “I think that god has a sick sense of humour,” was the exact thoughts I had at that point. I had just experienced the rejection of a god that could tear you apart from the inside and leave your life in what seems to be an unending torture. It was a complete collapse of my entire belief system. It was like learning the truth about Santa Claus. It seemed obvious that god was completely fabricated. I came to the starkest of conclusions … god did not actually exist. I got into the car and banged my fists against the steering wheel.
    Shouting at the demon to get the f…k out of my body. I punched my legs so hard that I cried out in pain. I needed to vent so badly but only tears came out. I blamed myself that I had taken this path and had made choices that I had believed to be my own. I wanted to cry out in anger and disgust at the extent of the deception and it caused a deep seated headache.

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  6. I love your honesty and because of that I have to respond. I have been street healing for a couple of years now. I train new people each week.

    Like you I have seen exaggeration and found people in the church hardest to heal. However since moving away from a constantine spectator gospel in favour of making disciples as Jesus commanded we have seen completely blind people healed and deaf people healed too. No placebo affect is going to do that! I also stopped with the sinners prayer in favour of Peters presentation of the gospel in acts 2 38. Now miracles that go beyond placebo possibilities take place regularly.

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    • I would like to hear more about the healings you’re talking about. We started to do training thru Last Reformation and was turned off by the mind manipulation style of praying for people. What’s up with the “scale of 1 to 10” pain questions? Either you’re healed or not!

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