I’ve been pretty busy the last several months so I haven’t been keeping up with my blog like I should. I have a few draft posts that I’m still working on about topics such as The Satanic Temple and Atheistic-Satanism, Elijah List prophecies, thoughts on death after losing my faith and stories from Christians about the dead miraculously raising after prayer.
Just to keep my blog active during this time I thought I’d post a couple old journal entries I wrote at the beginning of my Charismatic phase during the renewal meetings I talk about in my past blog entires.
In this first journal entry about the renewal meetings it really shows I started off skeptical about the miracles and God Encounters but wanted to believe it all true.
July 3, 2007: 7:30pm
How can I explain the last several days? When I got back into town after the tour, the church asked if I could work for them at the nightly meetings they’ve been holding since two Fridays ago. The best I can describe are my feelings of confusion and frustration. Confusion, because there’s a lot going on in the church: miracles, healings and stuff I can’t grasp my mind around to try to understand. Frustration, because a lot of the times it seems others can focus on these happenings and except them as real. I am walking a line. Is this real or not?
This next entry about some of the miracles I thought I experienced I’ve already taken apart in some of my past blog entries. The part I want to point out in this entry is the glowing picture taken of the pastor while he was preaching about Moses’ radiant face. This was taken at a time when camera phones weren’t as common as they are now and pictures taken on camera phones didn’t look as clear and detailed as they do now. Looking back on this picture now it was just a bad glow from the stage lights reflecting off his body. The angelic flashes I saw when I closed my eyes were the flashes of camera light.
July 4th, 2007: 4:00am
Ok, things at the church are getting extremely weird. The other night feathers were falling from thin-air, and I mean they were literally falling out of thin-air and Gold dust appearing on people. Someone took a picture on a camera phone, and I am a witness to this, of the pastor while he is on stage talking about Moses glowing after spending time with the Lord. I’m not talking about a glow, he was actually a beaming light entity. Nothing logical can explain that. There is no way someone can doctor that picture within seconds of taking it.
People are seeing angels. I’ve been seeing flashes of lights when I close my eyes. I’m not sure if its camera flashes or not, but I’d like to think its a miracle for myself. Words can’t express how I feel about this. It’s honestly unbelievable, even for myself. I feel like I’m gonna wake up and it all never happened. It’s frightening and exciting. I’m still waiting for myself to feel God. I hope it happens soon. All I want is my own encounter with God.
Indeed I woke up and it all never happened.